Difficult News

So, Nick and I have been keeping a secret for awhile now, and we're finally coming out in the open as a way to just inform the people in our lives and to just gain some support.

Nick and I have been trying to conceive for about 7 months now. We didn't originally plan on trying to have children for at least a year after we were married, but about 3 months into our marriage, we felt a strong impression that we needed to start trying for a child. It is now come to our attention that this will be much more difficult of a process than originally planned.

WARNING: TOO MUCH INFO BELOW :) IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ALL THE "WOMANLY" DETAILS I SUGGEST STOPPING HERE :)

I am bipolar, and was on many different medications, and so back in July we made an appointment with my OBGYN for a consultation. At that time it was decided that, if possible, I should stop all of my medications. Which I have.

I've always had a feeling that whenever I decided to try to get pregnant that it wouldn't be easy. I have never had regular periods. I remember asking my OBGYN at about 18 years old, if my irregularity would cause me to have difficulty in conceiving, and she stated that I shouldn't worry about it until that time came when I was ready to start trying.

After stopping birth control back in July, and 3 months of trying to conceive naturally, my periods went right back to being irregular. I went in for another consultation with my OBGYN in Oct 2008. I had just skipped a period, and she had decided to start me on Provera to get my period, and then follow up with 50mg Clomid. I was also sent for blood work at this time.

All of my original blood tests came back normal, except for an overactive thyroid, which was re-tested and was then within normal limits. I was tested after my first round of clomid to see if I ovulated. (Which I did) The plan from there was to try another 2 months with the clomid.

December 2008, while on my second round of Clomid, I skipped another period. A home pregnancy test came back Negative, and 2 blood tests for pregnancy were also negative. My OBGYN decided to increase my clomid to 100mg and if Nick and I did not conceive my next cycle then he would go for a semen analysis, and I will go in for a HSG test.

I've now just skipped another period while on the 100mg of clomid. Pregancy tests have all come back negative as well, so we will be starting the other testing this month.

The whole process is becoming more real to us now, particularly now that we're going in for all of this extra testing.

On one hand, I know that trying to conceive for 7 months isn't that long, most doctors wait until people have been trying for at least a year before intervening in any way, but on the other hand, it's kind of hard to even try if I have no idea when/if I'm ovulating, it's just a shot in the dark, and hoping that things work out. It's also tough because of my moods being all over the place due to hormones and the fact that I'm not on any of my medications, which can also be quite a dangerous thing for me.

So that's where we're at. we just wanted to add it here for our own journal purposes and also to give everyone an update of what's going on in our lives.